May Day

Today was pretty amazing. I woke up today ready to start my day...I didn't even hit the snooze button! All this week I've been sleeping in my room by myself, and I'm not complaining. It's been great. I have gotten the proper needed sleep all this week without the late night chitchatting and chilly, noisy early morning wakeup calls. I even got to eat breakfast with Chenae, one of my Chase floor mates. The French Club Relay for Life meeting was a little shaky because not a lot of people showed up, but we did talk and get what needed to be done...done. Then I had to play flag football in exercise science today...it was alright...mostly it was the guys running the ball and chasing each other down. But it was kind of fun anyway. In English, Ion actually took editing my paper seriously and we had a good conversation about my paper. At the end he said, "You're a journalism major, right?" And I said, "Yeah." And he said, "Good. Keep it." It just felt terrific to hear! :) Then I had lunch, talked to Michelle who I haven't seen in a while, and made the Les Bleu t-shirts with Erika and Angelica.
But the best part of today was the carnival we had outside on the quad. They called it "May Day." It seems schools have carnivals a lot, especially in the spring. Chase girls with there, Farnham girls were there...I hung out with Laura for the first time in forever. I talked to Sarah on a day we didn't have math class. Those floaty things were fun, and there were a lot of laughs to go around. And then I spent the night watching movies on ABC Family and Spike.
Like I said, an amazing day. And tomorrow (or later on today) is Relay for Life. <3

Something like this...

"I can't look at you the same anymore."

I just posted this as my status on Facebook. I hate liars. The one thing I look for in a friend is loyalty, and if you're loyal, that means you don't lie to me. To my face. With someone who knows you're lying and will tell me you're lying...is sitting right next to you! I try not to lie. The only times I lie is when I'm scared, or when I'm feeling pathetic...or if I want to protect myself or someone I love.

Scared: I don't know what the outcome will be, if it will be good or bad, so in the heat of the moment I lie
Pathetic: I know what I should have been doing and I either wasn't doing it or didn't follow through 100%...so I lie
Protecting myself: I feel a threat in the air and lie to protect myself
Protecting someone I love: I get highly offended by what the other party is saying so I lie to make them look better (this is just one example)

It looks like in a lot of these instances I lie because of some threat. The threat of making myself vulnerable, the threat of getting hurt, the threat of having someone I care about getting hurt...

Okay, I admit that sometimes I lie when I am embarrassed, which is kind of the same as feeling pathetic.

Alright, I know exactly what to say now...hopefully it works out. :/

Looks like a novel...maybe I'll read it sometime. :P

Hot Chocolate

On a cold rainy day like this one, the only cure is hot chocolate. That and a couple sugar cookies. Warm feelings. That's what you need on a rainy day. :)

Dead Man's Cellphone Tonight!

All in all, I suck as a journalist. I had like 3 weeks to do some investigative reporting and find out who's in Dead Man, what it's all about, and interview people from the cast, crew, and part of the SCSU Theater Department. Did I do that? No! Ugh, I'm so mad at myself. I kept on making excuses, and now it's the day of opening night, and it's basically too late. Someone even went to a dress rehearsal, snapped some photos, and posted them to Southern's Facebook page. I feel so out of the loop (as I often do) and like a lousy journalist. How am I supposed to enter this career if I can't even perform? But Josh Kovner said he was shy. He hates roaming the streets searching for voice and opinion. The worst part of the job, he said. But he does it! I feel like I'm just done with this semester, sick of putting myself out on the line, and done with dealing with people. I want to recreate myself this summer and come back to Semester Two Fall 2011 a new woman. But I keep on saying this! It goes back to those other posts about being the "movie version" me or the "robot perfect" me. It all goes back to me not liking who I am and wanting to change it. I'm not sure if I can change.
Well, here's some good news: I got a new dress on Sunday! It was from Target, but I don't care. It's still an AllStar brand, which I already have shoes from. It's purple with lace-like cotton, diagonal strips, flowing, and very summer. I've been waiting for a bright sunny day in which to wear it. :) Maybe Thursday will be that day! 

Student Appreciation Day

Today is Student Appreciation Day, and it's an amazing atmosphere. There are float devices, hamburgers and hot dogs, smoothies, Fuse, tea, music...but the best part is all the students hanging around. I love it when I see Southern Owls venture out to the quad and just pass around a baseball or play volleyball. The energy of the place just heightens...and I'm happier to call this place not only my school but home. And this really is home. After I got back from a weekend of traveling, I couldn't help but say out loud, "Home." Yay, Southern!

My beautiful dorm. :) 

Sleepover at UNH

After spending a night at the University of New Haven, I'm glad I chose Southern over that school. I mean, it's unlikely I would have chosen UNH anyway because I'd never even heard of the school, much less visited it or even considered applying, until Kristin told me about it last year. But it seems like a good match for her. There's just a lot of random rules/regulations I don't understand. Like how the academic buildings are all locked up on weekends. And the dining hall doesn't open until 10:30 am on Sundays. And you have to pay for lunch. At least the University gives you about $500 in what they call Charger Cash, so I suppose you can make that last for your lunch money. She was like, you don't really need lunch...UMMMM, I'm a hungry girl that likes to eat...I need my 3 squares at least!
Other than that, UNH is a pretty good school...I guess. I mean, it's hard for me to write a lot of good things about it because I'm so loyal to Southern. I told her I can't wait for her to visit my school next year because my school rocks! And I want to show her that. Kristin and I have been great friends for a long time...this is the first time we've hung out in a long time...and we never ran out of things to talk about! Plus, she found my sugar high (I blame her...she's the one who gave me the Sprite) hilarious. I introduced her to Taboo...I couldn't believe she had never played it! And I managed to find two academic buildings actually open for exploring. Plus, we played Frisbee on the quad...kind of embarrassing because I'm not the best catcher (or thrower) in the world, and I felt all the boys staring at me. Even before that, in the dining hall, a few guys were watching me...especially this one guy waiting for his omelet...I just gave him the "what the freak are you looking at, I'm just getting some freaking breakfast!" look. He didn't really react all that much, so I thought maybe it was my imagination and maybe he was just staring...into space? But we definitely made eye contact...but I asked Kristin about it, and she said that boys there just look at everyone randomly. It made me feel self conscience, like I didn't fit in...but it was a different school and only the first time I've been there. So I'm not too worried.
What matters is that I had a fabulous time with Kristin. And I'm beat. It's only 9:20 pm and I'm considering going to bed after I clean a little. I saw Chastity and Jasmine in bed earlier...it was around 7:00 pm! But that's another blog post...(Kristin told me it's healthier to wake up at the same time every day...at 8 am...yeah, right!). Good evening all! :)

Me, Kristin, and our friend Natalie...kind of an old picture. Sad we didn't think to take pictures today. 

NYC People to People Trip

I traveled a lot this weekend. Saturday morning I hopped the train to New York, my favorite city I've visited so far in my life. I don't know where the Seventeen headquarters are located, but it's a close bet that they're in NYC. Just because EVERYTHING is there. Basically. So we get there, and it starts off shaky because I'm a nervous wreck due to the fact I'm basically traveling on my own. I don't have any close friends with me, so if something happens to me...well, I'm not that confident the people in the club would care. Enough. Well, Sean probably would...and maybe Joe...though, I'm pretty sure he hates me now due to what happened at breakfast that day...but back to New York! We started walking to the UN Center (I kept on seeing UN everywhere and kept on thinking it was un...as in "a" in French...), I suddenly felt this incredible RUSH. Like, OMG I'm in New York City! God, I could LIVE here. And I really could. And I told my fellow people in People to People, and they basically just laughed at me (or thought I was stupid). They didn't understand.
The UN Center was great. We got a tour of the place and some history, which was pretty interesting. The best part was the UN room where representatives from every country and region around the world comes to discuss world issues. Barack Obama himself had stood in that room! Along with a bunch of other well-known leaders.
Afterwards we went to this church where we ate a Norwegian lunch...rice pudding with cinnamon and butter was the main dish. We also had waffles with jelly. It was all good, and it was pretty interesting eating food I would not normally eat.
After that we walked through Central Park. It was such a beautiful day that I didn't even really think about the fact Gossip Girl has been filmed there on numerous occasions (along with so many other shows and movies!). I focused mainly on the incredible beauty around me. The smells of the steak cooking on those portable stoves (enough to make me want a steak), the heat of the sun on my arms, the breeze flying across my cheeks, and the energy of the city passing through my very pores...maybe I'm being a little dramatic, but it really was amazing.
We then split into two groups...one group went on a carriage ride (I had already done it and it was expensive), and my group walked to Times Square...with a couple pit stops on the way. Including a Lego store (hahahahaha, it was really cool), and the Rockefeller Center (where the photos below are). Times Square was definitely great as always...just a little crowded. We were there during rush hour so a lot of people going every which way, cars honking, and police whistles going off. But I'm glad we decided to walk down there.
After that, we decided to head back to the train station. It had been a long day and everyone was broke anyway. We had about a half hour until our next train, so we went downstairs to grab some food. I ate part of my PB&J before deciding it was disgusting...I found it today and decided it was time to thoroughly wash my dishes...like scrubbing. :/ Haha. We caught the 7:07 pm train, and Sean and I actually had a great conversation on the way back. I even ended  up telling him things I've only told a few people...we really got close. Too bad he scared me away again with his terrible driving. Once we got  back to campus, I promised Kristin I would come visit her at UNH, and he said he would drive me back...a little too scary for my taste. He turned on his GPS and everything...but he didn't USE it. After about five times of him missing the turns, I was like, "Um, what's going on?" That's an exact quote!! I was just so taken aback. He answered with he wanted to take the highway...which makes zero sense, but he was driving, so I didn't argue.
All in all, NYC was awesome...to the very end.

Sorry the pictures are so small...:P