Dead Man's Cellphone Tonight!

All in all, I suck as a journalist. I had like 3 weeks to do some investigative reporting and find out who's in Dead Man, what it's all about, and interview people from the cast, crew, and part of the SCSU Theater Department. Did I do that? No! Ugh, I'm so mad at myself. I kept on making excuses, and now it's the day of opening night, and it's basically too late. Someone even went to a dress rehearsal, snapped some photos, and posted them to Southern's Facebook page. I feel so out of the loop (as I often do) and like a lousy journalist. How am I supposed to enter this career if I can't even perform? But Josh Kovner said he was shy. He hates roaming the streets searching for voice and opinion. The worst part of the job, he said. But he does it! I feel like I'm just done with this semester, sick of putting myself out on the line, and done with dealing with people. I want to recreate myself this summer and come back to Semester Two Fall 2011 a new woman. But I keep on saying this! It goes back to those other posts about being the "movie version" me or the "robot perfect" me. It all goes back to me not liking who I am and wanting to change it. I'm not sure if I can change.
Well, here's some good news: I got a new dress on Sunday! It was from Target, but I don't care. It's still an AllStar brand, which I already have shoes from. It's purple with lace-like cotton, diagonal strips, flowing, and very summer. I've been waiting for a bright sunny day in which to wear it. :) Maybe Thursday will be that day!