Monday, January 31, 2011

Messy Hair

I'm counting this as a post from yesterday because I've been waiting for Jasmine to come in here and help me redesign this blog, but it just isn't working. I can't wait any longer, plus I did make a promise to update this every day. Anyway, today was an okay day. I got woken up at 10:30 am this morning by a blaring fire alarm...I was so asleep I didn't even know if it was a fire alarm. Plus, like at 8:43 am, people were scrapping snow right outside my window. Just not a good morning. After the fire alarm, I planned on staying up, but after being in the Internet for a little while, I just couldn't keep my eyes open and collapsed into bed. Besides that, I've just been hanging out with my Chase girls, and I started doing my homework at like 8:30 pm which wasn't such a good idea because I'm still working on it and I still have a long way to go. Especially in French. But, anyway, Simone has been doing my hair a lot more recently, and her favorite hairstyle is the messy type. I've been trying it out for a few days now, and I kinda like it...especially since I'll be taking an exercise science course where I'll be working out a lot...meaning I'll have messy hair anyway. So I'll have a name to go with my hairstyle. :)


Don't you love my enthusiastic smile? 


Saturday, January 29, 2011

Dorm Rooms


For those of you who are unfortunate enough not to have experienced the joys of college life and are not in touch with anyone who has, let me tell you a few things about dorm rooms. First of all, it's really easy to have it become messy within a few minutes (even right after you've cleaned it). I don't know what my dorm room would look like if I didn't have Chastity to keep it clean. She's what me and Desiree, my other roommate, would sweetly call a "neat freak." She hates it when things don't match: so much so, that during the summer before we moved in, she sent me the order she and Desiree got from Walmart and encouraged me to get either the same order or similar so our comforters would match. With us girls, it's all about the room being presentable...even the door! For V Day, we decorated the door with beads, circles, and hearts! Gotta go eat dinner, until next time.







Friday, January 28, 2011

When Class is Cancelled

Usually it's a good thing that class is cancelled, but not so much when I have to practically run from across campus to get there on time and I have to look up the room number because I've only been there once and then I find the classroom and there's a sheet that says class is cancelled and to check your email for homework assignments. Especially when I had my essay done on Wednesday when it was due, and that class was cancelled then as well. And now this weekend I have to write another essay for the same class on the question of the day from askphilosophers.com and my reflection based on the question. I don't know what she's expecting in ways of writing style, so I'm a little nervous that I'm turning in work that does not reflect her expectations. Last semester, I worked really hard on my first two essays and the professor had them for a long time, and when I finally got them back, I did below average. I'm just worried that this is going to repeat itself. So today I only had my exercise science class where we had to play these really annoying team building games. Actually, I'm keeping these games in mind for summer camp to share with my kids. I'm gonna get back to doing basically nothing watching old "16 and Pregnant" episodes online. 

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Chips and Roman

The typical college student brunch when you're trapped inside due to a snowstorm. It's the second day in a row classes have been cancelled, and I'm getting a lot of pleasure reading in. Most of the time, college students are so busy trying to finish their philosophy readings, it's hard to ever get readings that you actually want to read in. Last semester I did a project that had all to do with fashion, and there were these readings I used as sources that I only read the first and maybe second pages. Over the break, I planned to read the entire sections. No luck: looks like my real pleasure reading is always fiction is mostly includes kissing and going out on dates or maybe a family crisis. Just like the TV I watch. 

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Snow Day


This is my first ever snow day as a college student, and I have to say, it's pretty awesome. I still had to go to the bookstore this morning because I was afraid they were going to run out of used text books for my math class and I still had a brief gym class. Besides that, I've pretty much hung around my dorm, alternating between my room, Jasmine, Simone, and Olivia's room, and the common room. I also ventured out with my Chase girls to Conn Hall, which the dining hall on campus, for a big lunch (for I knew I wasn't going to venture out once the storm got worse). Well, I have almost all my books: the bookstore ran out of my book I need for English so I have to wait for them to shoot me an email before I can get my hands on one. I actually was kind of upset my English class got cancelled because I spent a good part of last night typing up my essay and this morning printing it for it to have been a wasted effort (though not completely, it means I don't have to worry about it). I guess I better go do my Journalism, Math, and English homework.


Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Crazy Professors

I really can't deal with these professors right now. I have so much homework it's obnoxious; it kinda reminds me of the first week of high school how it just seemed to add up, except it has only been two days here. I had a quiz today: I only had ONE day to study! What if I hadn't had my books yet? i would've had to rush to them, make my friggin index cards, and study like hell, stressing out and failing anyway? Well, the quiz didn't really count, thank God, and I got an 80% which isn't too bad, but still. And math...no quiz, but so much homework and I still don't have the friggin book, and I have to like go to the book store first thing in the morning and hope they're some used books still available. And English? The books aren't too bad (except the bookstore ran out, and I had to pre-order one of them), but the amount of writing is already stressing me out, and I like to write! I'm actually supposed to be writing an essay right now (due two days after the first class), so I better get to it. 

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Home

Even when I'm all moved into college, reconnected with my friends whom I haven't seen in a while, full of food I actually wanted to eat, and with the freedom to do whatever I want to do, with the exception of things school related. I'm still kinda worried about my text books, but I'm trying to merely focus on my classes and take in what's expected of me before I go shopping for my texts and worrying too much far into the future. Going to college feels like coming home; I feel GOOD here, and I'm excited to get to my classes and actually do well. 

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Packing for College



Right now I'm packing for college. I have a lot of stuff already there since I'm not switching rooms, but it's still really hard! I even went to Southern's website to see if there was a list I could refer to. There was, but it's the most unhelpful packing list I've ever used!
Here it is below: the ones crossed out are the ones I already have at school or do not own. Remaining? About six items, most of which are a nobrainer...I hate this! I always get stressed when I'm packing, and I always think I'm going to forget something (because I usually do). The worst I've ever forgotten? My cell phone charger. Dad had to bring it next time he was delivering water. Oh, well, better get back to packing. :(

WHAT TO BRING 
The following items are allowed within the residence halls, so feel free to bring them! Our advice is to talk to your roommate(s) first, so you can work out who will bring what to the room.
·         Pillows
·         Sheets
·         Blankets/comforters
·         Detergent
·         Clothes rack
·         Laundry bag
·         Alarm clock
·         Desk lamp
·         Hangers
·         Touch tone phone
·         Desk supplies (scissors, tape, pens etc..)
·         Radio
·         TV with cable wire
·         VCR or DVD player
·         Bookcase
·         Computer
·         Rugs
·         Bath and face soap
·         Soap holder
·         Toothbrush
·         Toothbrush holder
·         Shampoo and conditioner
·         Medical supplies (aspirin, band-aids, etc..)
·         Shaving supplies
·         Mop and pail
·         Sponge and broom
·         Powerstrips with surge protectors

Friday, January 21, 2011

Too Bad For You

There are some moments when I think I've gone bonkers. Like, seriously depressed and oozy. But I think I'm just getting that allusion. Like, back in middle school and even freshman year I thought I was a pretty good person. I mean, I think. There was those few weeks when I wanted to cut myself and start an eating disorder, thanks to that witch who must remain unnamed, but those were mostly because of my looks. After that witch basically called me fat (with witnesses), I actually believed her, that stupid kid I was. I mean, I was at my A game: I was the thinnest I'd ever be basically...I could even fit into a size five! But this is just another example of me hearing something and actually believing it about myself, even if it didn't make sense. In sophomore year, everyone had to take a health class, and in this said health class I learned about self esteem. I always connected it to how you look on the outside, but my teacher insisted if you have self esteem, you only care about what's on the inside. In her words (it really stuck with me): "If you look in the mirror in the morning, you might look like crap, but if you don't honestly believe that inside you are a good person, then you have issues." I often think about that every time I look in the mirror: oh, I look like shit, but that's okay, I'm a good person...or am I? A few weeks ago, I read the most incredible book called, "It's Kind of a Funny Story." I never remember authors, but if you search on Amazon, I'm sure you'll find it. It's about depression. And, now all of a sudden I might have depression? Just because I read this book? What's wrong with me? All I know is that sometimes my mind gets eaten alive by all these things I want to do but never get around to doing because it's all so overwhelming and I'm so scared  of failing it's almost better not to try. But then I think back and think I'm a failure anyway because I'm just lugging around, being a fat ass when bigger and better people are actually succeeding in life, who have cars, a steady job, getting good grades, in good relationships. I feel like all I want are these things but they're so many steps in getting them I can't...I don't have the willpower to get them.  

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Crusade for Christ

http://southernct.edu/clubs/crusade/home.htmlI know this blog is supposed to mainly focus on fashion, but the name of this blog IS "A Diverse Girl With Diverse Goals." What we're all about here is including all there is to know about me and my life as a poor college student reaching for the stars, and that includes my religious side. For I am diverse. First of all, sorry for that major depressing blog post 20 hours previously. Hearing about my Poppi really messed me up and then I started another Sarah Dessen book, "Someone Like You," and in the opening line it spoke about death. Even today I keep chanting/singing over and over again the last/second to last (I'm not sure, I'm pretty sure second to last because I ended with Jars of Clay) song I included on my Dad's birthday CD playlist. I even posted it as my Facebook status. I also posted the last blog post to my profile: it's titled, "In Mourning" so I figured a lot of my friends would read it or even my mom or possibly brothers. Altogether, one friend messaged me about it, saying she was sorry about my Poppi. Actually, I messaged her first to say I'm going to join the religious group on campus, and she followed up with her sorry, but I'm pretty confident she was about to message me anyway. I told her she was free to read the other blog posts, but I'm not sure if she took me up on that offer. I do tend to write a lot. Possibly more people read it, but for now, it's unclear. My friend Michelle did say she would keep up with it, but who knows if that's true anymore. Anyway, yesterday I made the decision to join the religious group on campus, CRU: Crusade for Christ. First, the name kind of threw me: I didn't want to be joining some group that ran around shouting about Christ and passing out flyers like some Jehovah's Witnesses or the Jewish group that keeps on asking me if I'm Jewish. After I read their little blurb online, however, they say they are nondenominational, so they aren't some freaky Catholic group (I don't know why, Catholics sometimes scare me), their goal is to make people's relationship with God stronger (which is exactly what I need), and when I saw a picture of them all in Fireplace lounge, they were all snuggled up as a group, all happy and cheerful which means this could be an opportunity to make more friends. A few weeks ago, I made my status, "If you would listen to my babbling if I called you at 2 am, like my status." Well, all of two people liked my status. While I am grateful to those two people, it made me kind of sad to know I didn't have a ton of loyal friends. Loyalty is the greatest quality anyone could ask for in a friend. Even if they aren't always honest or kind, as long as they have YOUR back, everything should work out. That makes them generous, forgiving, and down for anything (within reason) you want to pursue. Maybe next semester I'll gain a heap load of friends who are supportive and kind and loyal so when I sign in online, I'll have my choice of people to talk to.

http://southernct.edu/clubs/crusade/home.html

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

In Mourning

Well, I think it's really obvious that when it comes to fashion you wear black while in mourning. Or clothes of the deceased. Well, I'm eighteen, and with this age, I'm learning, you lose a lot of people. I can't go to church anymore without crying. This past Sunday, while everyone was downstairs drinking coffee, I went back  up to the worship space and laid down in front of the cross, and broke down. I feel His presence less and less, and through music, praying, and reading the bible, I've been desperate more than ever to feel His touch again, but my heart feels more empty than ever. I just received news that Poppi is in the hospital. Before, I didn't think it possible for people to just die, especially people close to me. I was naive. And now I'm paying for it. It's ironic how I was discussing with my best friend, who happened to be J's cousin, visiting him at the hospital and how he just HAD to get better. It didn't seem possible, or right, that he should die like he did. But he did. Even as we were talking about visiting him, he was already dead. Gone. He never knew how much I felt for him. And never will. And isn't it ironic how as I'm typing this and tears fall down my cheeks that "Big Girls Don't Cry" by Fergie is playing in the background?

Monday, January 17, 2011

Boys And Video Games

My brother got an Xbox for Christmas. My mother was at first worried about him hogging the TV and me and my other brother not having a chance to use it. Well, this didn't turn out to be a huge problem because first of all I don't really use the TV anymore because I have my laptop now, and my brother Luke ended up getting his own Xbox games. And he can be really assertive when he wants something, insisting that it's his turn to use the television. And we've taken to me watching him play these various video games, including a game where you walk around killing zombies and another where you walk around killing and hijacking cars. I must say, I actually do like video games (not including these two, I'm not a fan of just walking around aimlessly destroying the world) including racing games and especially karaoke. I especially like my American Idol video game because you get to customize your own character, including their wardrobe. Here's another way I can practice my fashionista skills; I just have to find it in my mess of a room.


Another Day, Another Promise Broken

Well, that's the end of that. What has it been, two days? Shucks. But at least I have an excuse: two, actually; on Saturday I was way busy, with a fashion crisis, and a family drama. Sunday? I was religiously distressed and I went to the movies (my Dad's treat...he got movies passes for his birthday). One thing to say: (well, two) The Green Hornet is an amazing movie, and Seth Rogan (is that not how you spell it?) is a sexy beast and a sick nasty superhero. He totally killed it, and a bunch of other guys in the movie. But it wasn't really an action movie, more comedy...I think action movies are boring. Like Transformers. I literally could not wait for that movie to be over. Now, onto my fashion crisis: my mother has informed me that sometimes I dress like a "whore" and people will think I'm a "slut" and "easy." Especially boys, I think she was getting at. In my defense, I said with an edge, "Well, people shouldn't JUDGE ME by what I WEAR." In response, she said with a calm voice, "But people do." And she moved on to say she obviously didn't teach me that and now she was like she was some failed parent or something. Well, whatever. When I texted my friends about it, they both laughed (or at least typed versions of "lol" or "haha") and said they disagreed. Looking back, I do think it's a little inappropriate to wear shorts, stockings, and knee socks when I'm visiting my grandfather but I think I would have realized this eventually as I stared in the mirror. And she took it a little too far with the "whore" dressing...as if I attract a bunch of horny men...I don't attract any men at all...unless you count my one serious boyfriend, those few flings, and that one cute boy in the dining room. Which I guess, yeah, they deserve to be counted, but those were all years ago, before I started dressing like a "whore." Anyways, I apologize for not checking in every day, but I'll be more frequent, I promise.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Laptop Deficiencies



So, got my laptop back in August, a couple weeks before school started. I thought it was the greatest thing ever. I could go on the Internet whenever I wanted- type something up...whenever I wanted! I didn't have to wait for the main computer of the house when it was so often occupied by my little brothers. My senior year of high school, I took a class called Western Civ. We had a big paper due, and I do admit I experienced a great amount of procastination. However, I feel like if I was able to do an all-nighter like my fellow classmates (believe me, everyone admitted to it), I would have been better off. When the boy sitting behind me said he managed to type out eight pages, I strained my ears for the girl's reaction (for that was the number of pages I had to go to bed with) and my heart sank when she whispered, "That's it?" Anyway, I could have really benefited from having my own laptop earlier in the game. I also made it apparent to my parents that I would have also benefited from a desk- a proper place to study besides the noisy kitchen or my bed. Well, it is what it is, and now that I'm in college I have a desk, full access to a library, and a laptop! And my grades have vastly improved since high school. If I was still in high school with these grades, I would have made the gold card along with all the other smarties in my grade. That's why when I grow up, I'm going to make sure that my children have the best education I can provide for them. But, anywho, I'm off subject again. Laptops are great, but they're not perfect. A whole handfull of my college friends, including me, have had difficulties controling their laptops. With me, my best friend my high school sent me a bunch of videos from our Ohio school trip via Skype, and the things gave me a virus! Of course, I didn't know it was a virus at the time- all I did know was that my computer was acting faulty. I tried to explain to my mother (who's kinda good with computers), but she didn't really understand what was happening either. Plus, there was no Bestbuy I could take a ride to so they could check it out...thanks a lot Milford Mall. I had to pay $200 for Bestbuy in the Meridan Mall (the one closest to my hometown) to fix my laptop. And today, I can't even go on friggin Farmville to harvest my cranberries or watch "Alice in Wonderland" without the DVD program skipping. I tried to update the thing three times and the whole laptop would freeze before I restarted it all over again. It became such a problem I came out here to use the family computer (good thing I remember my passwords) to finally harvest my crops, and now they're telling me Farmville is down (thankfully it was AFTER I harvested). What is there to reconstruct? From what we see here, I really do have to take a technology class at good ole SCSU. I'm actually missing sleeping in my dorm, eating in the dining hall (a little), going to class, laughing with my room and floormates, meeting Kara and Caitie for movie night, heading to the mall with Michelle...the only thing that would make this perfect is to guarentee I have an on-campus job to earn some money I desperately need. On top of that, I feel like I will have barely any free time once back on campus, and I'm really worried about my sleeping patterns and how my roomies will probably force me to take naps in the middle of the day when I should be doing homework or exercising. I guess sleeping is better than eating.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Where Does my Knowledge Come From?

I almost didn't write today! I think of that as almost a good thing because it meant I was busy today and late last night I promised myself not to be such a lazy ass. But ultimately it would be a bad thing because I also promised myself that I would write on this blog every day. When I was in middle school, my mother subscribed me to a magazine with a giant G and L on the cover. GL for short, obviously, but at that age (even though in small print it revealed the real name) I did not know it actually stood for Girl's Life. When I found out this little scrap of news, I was revolted...Girl's Life? Ew, it just sounded wrong in my ears. I wanted more grown up magazines like Teen or Cosmo Girl. Girl's Life did have little fashion spreads, but not too many to be taken seriously, and the girls didn't look like role models to me. Once I started to get Teen Vogue, I discovered a whole new world with runways and photo shoots and these weird outfits I could never see myself wearing. Then I got my own TV, and I started watching America's Next Top Model, the best reality TV show out there. And I actually started paying attention to celebrities and what they looked like. In history at school, I learned about how people from the past wore different clothing from me and in movies I would actually pay attention to what the actors wore. I even started watching Runway, and I was impressed by the designers who made all the fabulous clothes. It's all about proportions, patterns, and lengths. The magazine I read now, Seventeen, is amazing. Every few months I am so excited to have it come in the mail, and I go to Vogue.it, Abbeydawn.com, and other fashion websites to explore what's out there. This is why it's so easy to imagine myself going to fashion shows, researching, and interviewing in order to write an awesome spread in some magazine about what's new for the season.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

But First Let's Comment On The Weather

I promised you a post that reflects on where I got all my wonderful knowledge on fashion, but I just had to bring my beagle out to do her business, and I've never seen so much snow in my whole life! I'm serious, and I used to live in Enfield in an apartment complex with huge snow banks my brother and I used to climb all over. I thought my brother was exaggerating when his Facebook status came out as, "This is awesom the snow at my house is up to my shoulders." But he wasn't...at all! Even though he is my little brother of 12 years old, you would never think the snow level would ever exceed his thighs even! Connecticut has experienced the worst (or best) snow storm in the history of my eighteen years! And I have to include the pictures I managed to take with my camera phone while I was out there. 





And I can't figure out how to make it all double spaced, so it's gonna be be posted like this. :P 

My First Semester Of College

"All my life I've been good, but now I'm thinking what the hell?" Gotta love Avril Lavigne! She has been my favorite singer since I was in the 5th grade or something and Sk8r Boi came out. And these lyrics to her new single exactly reflects how I felt within the first two weeks of my first semester at college. At the beginning, I really did not know anything about the college life; I thought I did, but I didn't. I mostly knew stuff from what I'd read, seen in movies, heard from older friends, and had witnessed when I visited my brother at his college when I was a freshman in high school. But even from all that, I was too ignorant and naive to know what actually went down. For those of you that have already been through college or currently are in college, you know what I'm talking about. For those of you high school (or lower) bound for the moment, let me clue you in. As I said before in an earlier post, for the first two (give or take) months, I did not repeat an outfit. Here's a word of advice if you're thinking of doing the same thing: you don't see the same people every day (with the exception of your friends and maybe a couple of people you always walk by in the dining hall), so this is actually something you don't have to worry so much about. With that said, it's still fun to create outfits and scramble for a piece of jewelry that doesn't make you want to go on a jewelry spree. Another thing: big purses are only acceptable when you use them for text books. When you go out, say to a party in the next dorm over or to the Mexican restaurant downtown that doesn't card, people will definitely stare and ask you why you brought a suitcase with you. Those new/vintage purse with the slings? Those are the perfect purses for these types of occasions, and this kinda makes me mad because before I knew the purse rule, I was shopping and purchased a giant orange purse I was sure would be desirable in the spring which now I deem just daring. It's better than the giant red purse I bought on the streets of New York last year, though I still carried that find around the dining hall in defiance. Another thing: sweat pants aren't a bad thing in college. When I wore them in high school, they were strictly for gym, track practices/meets, and pajama day. They made me feel like a bum otherwise...I wouldn't be caught in actual public wearing sweat pants outside of my specific occasions. (This is why I was often embarrassed by my mother's outfits and was worried the day we visited Quinnipiac University if she'd have enough sense to wear something decent. I didn't end up going to that school anyway). However, in college it's different. Even my stylish roommates choose to wear sweatpants to class. A word of caution: they have to be fitting, not ragged, and something you can pair with Uggs and a fitted sweatshirt with a lace tank top. In fashion, it's all about balance. I'll check in later with a post on where I get my incredible knowledge because I'm sure you're aching to know.  

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Sometimes I Choose To Be Unfashionable

Today I woke up sometime after 1 pm to my beagle barking up a storm. This is a new phase for her because before these barking escapades started, she would merely sleep all day without a care in the world. When I went upstairs to see what all the fuss was about, she was on the couch, shaking her tail with a guilty glare in her eyes. It's cool how she knows when she's in trouble because Shawna knows she isn't supposed to be on the couch, and she knows I find it annoying if she barks nonstop or at least to wake me up from a really weird dream. And then when I had to vacuum the house, I tried to lure her into the kitchen with a doggie toy because she's scared of the vacuum cleaner, but it was to no avail because she refused to remain blinded in the kitchen when there was a scary monster in the living room. Now she is laying under my blanket in my room as I type this.

There is one extremely disappointing thing about college: it is impossible to wear heels. Well, not impossible, but for me, it kills my feet. Especially wedges. I wore wedges a few times at the beginning of the year, and the blisters would be so severe I'd walk something like how Ann from Top Model chooses to walk: very ungracefully. It was enough for my new friend Laura to pick up on it and make fun of me for it, causing my other new friends to chime in with their own version of my walk and bringing it up again and again for the next few weeks. I always prided myself for being able to walk in heels, but I didn't factor in the fact that in high school I was mostly sitting down: the longest trek I had to make was walking to the bus stop. But I hated not being able to wear my heels, and I even put on my character shoes, which were really clicky, something my friend Amanda (and probably everyone else in my Inquiry class) had noticed and playfully pointed out. But even those hurt for some reason: I had to wear these shoes to chorus concerts, and for entire concerts they never hurt me, even though they hurt my friend Rachel. And it wasn't just heels: for reasons unknown to me, even my ballet flats started to hurt: they were cute magenta ones that went perfectly with a skirt, but by the time I made it to Morill Hall for my Journalism class, they killed me. When I got back to my dorm later that afternoon, my feet were a disaster: blisters everywhere! It pained me (both literally and not) to think of not wearing these perfect shoes I've collected over the years. One of the first things my roommates noticed about me was that I had a lot of shoes; I couldn't believe I had to give them up. Luckily for me, boots season was coming up, so I don't have to worry about it so much until the warm Spring comes around sometime in May. April I'll probably be wearing my rain boots all the time. Here's a pair of boots that make me just as tall as my father (who's 6 ft).


Just look at my chosen outfit today: sweat pants, an old t-shirt, and no bra. Granted, I'll probably be changing at least my top half, and I don't plan on going anywhere today, but even Massie Block says there are specific wear you have to choose from on Sundays when you most likely will be IMing your friends all day, and it does not include sweat pants or old t-shirts. My college friends are trying to convince me that I don't have to put on a perfect outfit all the time, but I remain skeptical. In fact, for the first two months of college (at least) I didn't repeat an outfit. Not once. I was tired of repeating my outfits every two weeks in high school, so right before school started I hit my favorite store, Kohls, and spent the equivalent to one and a half pay checks. I thought I deserved after a long summer of hard work, and now look where I am: a poor college student hoping she'll have enough money after purchasing her books to do laundry.

Ok, here we go

Well, I filled out the profile, I've added a picture, and I'm pretty sure I don't have anything more to fill out. Now, onto the blogging... why am I a diverse girl? First of all, I'm from a million backgrounds: I cannot ever remember them all, and it's awkward asking my biological mother in the few times I get to see her. For the longest time... years... I thought I was Italian, but I'm not! Not even 5%! (I'm 5% French apparently). After being crushed by my mother who acted confused I'd even think I was Italian, I started lying to people. And I lied to myself, too. I couldn't believe I was not Italian. My mother had clearly made a mistake and had forgotten all of my father's mother's side was Italian, or something like that. Then one day I decided to wake up and just say I wasn't Italian, but my family was (my adopted family that is). As it was, this caused confusion among people and always intrigued them to ask questions. And once again I would have to say that I was adopted. Tired of this unwanted awkwardness, I later simply said, "I'm not REALLY Italian, but I consider myself to be." This was much more accepted, and to my disbelief, people actually related to what I was saying. My first semester of college, the first club I joined was People to People, a club that promotes diversity and makes the International students more comfortable on campus, and it was full of people who questioned their true backgrounds, just as I did. Now when people ask me what I am, I say, "mostly Lithuanian, but I consider myself Italian." And that's okay. The reality is that there are many parts to me, to everyone, and that's what makes me, us, diverse. What makes me unique is my diverse ideas, and in turn the diverse goals I want to achieve by the time I am forced to leave this Earth. There are so many, and throughout this blog, I will detail them all and take you through my life as a struggling college student, and maybe you will even be able to witness my triumph when I break into the fashion world, which I try to do a little bit every day. Stay tuned.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Late One Night...

...I decided to create a blog. I mean, probably only my friends and possibly my family (when they're not busy) will end up reading this, and who knows if I'll even be able to find this page again? I'm horrible with computers... in fact, with this browser I can't even figure out how to bookmark this page! But, I think with determination I'll figure it out, like I often do (after many frustrating minutes). So, my name is Mary Pellin. I'm from the small town of Portland, Connecticut, which I'm sure most all have never heard of (unless of course "you" happens to be a person who already knows me). I attend Southern Connecticut State University. I'm a freshman: Journalism major. When I grow up, I want to work for a magazine writing fashion articles and traveling the world. Right now, I'm broke. I barely have enough to pay for text books for the upcoming semester, if that. They really are expensive. I read an article today about a woman named Emily Weiss, who is a fashion assistant who works for Vogue. It was more like a detailed collection of what she wore to work, and I fell in love all over again. This love is the strongest I've yet to feel: the aching desire to finally (and I'm only a freshman) to be done with college and able to spring myself into the real world. By the time I graduate, I will have worked another 3 summers for the camp in my town, hopefully will have a car which I can drive to Middletown to work at a moderate fashion store such as Marshals so I can become more familiar with brands and become more experienced with dressing people. Right now, I can only dress myself and my body type. Since I'm poor, I literally pull out all my accessories and search recklessly through my closet for outfit possibilities. I'm inspired by my world: music videos, magazine articles, story books, old movies. For English 111, I actually made a whole power point detailing style and fashion from the 1920s and how you do not need the perfect clothing brands and tons of cash to be fashionable. To me, fashionable means original. Like Ke$ha. And Katy Perry. And who can forget Lady Gaga? And one day I hope to write articles about people who do just that, and continue to express myself through my outfits. And maybe I'll inspire blog addicts like you (or maybe not even blog addicts) to become the new generation of fashion.